The Porn Effect?

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Several years back I founded a site called The Porn Effect. It was a website dedicated to exposing the reality behind the fantasy of porn and offering education and advice to men, women, and married couples from a Catholic perspective.

I’m sorry to say that due to my responsibilities at Catholic Answers I haven’t done a good job maintaining it, and, consequently, the number of people viewing the site has declined.

Through much prayer and discernment I feel called again to refocus my efforts on The Porn Effect and instead of renovating the site I’ve decided to take it down and rebuild it from scratch, and I’ve got some BIG plans!

Here’s where you come in: 

What would you like to see on this site?

What would you find helpful?

I’m very much looking forward to your input.

Totus Tuus Maria.

74 thoughts on “The Porn Effect?

  1. Although not religious films, I know of two that are quite useful in making some valid points from an academic but secular perspective. I use them with my university students in a secular university. One is called A Drug Called Pornography: Understanding the Harmful Effects of Pornography” (written and directed by Jonathan Schneider and narrated by Martin Kove, 2000). The other is called “Adult Entertainment: A Psychosocial Study of and American Obsession,” 2007. The DVD jacket says that it can be obtained from http://www.films.com or at 1-800-257-5126 or 609-671-1000. In this second film, a study was conducted at one of the Cal-State U’s in Southern California. It does feature one Catholic couple whose marriage deteriorated terribly within 21 days of the husband’s porn use, to which the couple both consented for a psychological study. Pretty telling.

  2. Thanks so much Matt for continuing to make steps towards addressing the issue of pornography! Not that long ago I was in a long term relationship with a wonderful man who had a porn addiction. We are no longer dating, but when we were I desperately wanted support and guidance in this situation–I wanted someone going through a similar situation to talk to, I wanted to know how I could work alongside my boyfriend to help him fight his addiction, I wanted to know if it was okay to continue dating him, I wanted to know how his addiction would affect me in the future. In my searching, I found zero resources for young women like me who aren’t married, but are considering marrying a man who has an active addiction. Us girlfriends (and boyfriends! I am so sure that there are many men dating women with porn addictions as well) are forgotten about and NEED to know that each other are out there. If you could recognize and facilitate that on your new site, I think it would not only be ground-breaking, but also very greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for giving us the opportunity to share with you our suggestions! 🙂

  3. Hi Matt,

    thank you for your ministry, In my opinion, the site should be user-friendly, not moralist or generalist, treating everyone the same way, but open. Could you mention women problems with porn, but as a user, not because of men’s use? Because though is not as common, it exists.
    It should be an appealing site, modern. I dont remember the previous…
    About statistics use, it works for some people, but some other hate it! So, be careful about its use.
    It should be provided in Spanish, for instance, I mean other language besides English.

    Thank you!
    VM

  4. Once again Matt, I just wanted to continue to encourage you in your dedication to educate people about the destructiveness of pornography. It is wonderful to see your renewed commitment to the Porn Effect website, the materials you help produce, the talks you give, and your partnerships with those like Donny Pauling. I am one of those who struggled with pornography and received freedom and renewal through Christ. It was an important awakening for me to realize that pornography was not just destroying my life, manhood, and relationships, but I was also destroying the lives of many others I would never meet; people I was victimizing through my consumption.

    If I have one suggestion, one that was important to me, it would be to highlight that fighting a porn addiction is not just about trying to resist an evil desire, or remove access to porn, but to be filled with the things of God. G.K. Chesterton said in Heretics that:

    “A young man may keep himself from vice by continually thinking of disease. He may keep himself from it also by continually thinking of the Virgin Mary. There may be question about which method is the more reasonable, or even about which is the more efficient. But surely there can be no question about which is the more wholesome.”

    My own problems with pornography ceased to be a fight to the death struggle once I began consistently orienting my heart toward the majesty of God. Spending time in prayer (especially intercessory prayer which focuses the heart on others), reading scripture, having fellowship with brothers and sisters, worship with others in the presence of Christ, and meditating on the mysteries of God all were extremely beneficial to me. Not only was there less room in my life, mind, and heart for lust, but there was less room for other darkness and sin as well. Walking in the cool of the shade in the mercies and graces that God has given us in this life is the best protection that I have found thus far. I try to focus on working within the grace of the Lord to keep the temple within me strong, so that I can have sanctuary in the Spirit within its walls.

    Anyway, may God richly bless your work on this site, at Catholic Answers, and in this ministry to combat pornography. May God’s peace and joy also be on your family.

    Chris.

  5. What about an area for priests…either for info. when parishioners confess and are looking for more help or for themselves(not sure if there is something already there for them through the diocese or something)?

  6. Hey matt
    We talked at seek and it has much changed my lofe so first id like to thank you. Secondly it would be alot of work but idk about others but i have fou.d it to be very difficult to find peoe here in my home town for like good catholic council so idk if there is something you can do or not iv talked to several priests and they all say the same that they dont know of any good ones that they would recommend so like having a spot to go to get helping finding someone to talk to to help with addictions and such

  7. Matt, thank you for the work you are doing in the battle against porn. I recently attended a talk you gave in massachusetts. Could you please post a list of books, recommended reading for the wives of porn addicts. I feel we have few resources for dealing with this assault upon our marriages. I wish the church was more vocal about how porn is deteriorating the sacrament of marriage and hurting family life.

  8. Hi Matt , thanks for your work I have found it hopeful and helpful. I would like to see a place for people to chat openly specifically about this issue maybe some sort of chat-room where we can go when we are in the midst of temptation or in need of motivation and hope. I find this can be found in a unique way amongst people struggling with pornography or any similar addiction. It is such a secretive and isolationist battle and sin and finding people to talk to in real time could prove to be invaluable.

  9. Hi Matt,

    I know you must be so busy with Catholic Answers and your beautiful family, but please, please continue your work at The Porn Effect – I emailed you a few years back and was so surprised you personally emailed back – I just wasnt expecting in knowing who you are and what you do (thats a genuine pleasantly surprised!) You answer and reccomendations was helpful, but I still searched for good resources for women who discover their husbands porn addition – all types of resources from reading to devotions, to ideas to help a husband – so I would like to see that included on the site.

    Prayers and blessing on your work, its horrible that it is so desperatley needed.

  10. Matt,

    Here is what I believe needs to be done to stop this plague, which one person in the recovery movement so aptly has called it, a lust virus.

    Parishes need to allow catholic men to form accountability groups that are approved by the bishop of a diocese such as My House.

    The website needs to be a place where the faithful can find links to resources that deal with porn addiction. Also include where catholic therapists can be located who may specialize in addiction recovery.

    There are many great books on dealing with this addiction, some are catholic some are not. The following are atholic books & articles that may be helpful:

    Clean of Heart: Overcoming Habitual Sins Against Purity by Rosemarie Scott

    Achieving Chastity in a Pornographic World
    By Rev. Thomas G. Morrow, S.T.D.

    The Courage to Be Chaste by Fr Benedict J Groeschel C.F.R

    The Effects of Pornography on Individuals,
    Marriage, Family and Community
    http://www.cardinalnewmansociety.org/Portals/0/CENTER/Fagan%20Final.pdf

    The New Narcotic
    MORGAN BENNETT
    http://www.catholiceducation.org/en/science/ethical-issues/the-new-narcotic.html

    From my experience I believe face to face meetings coupled with living the sacramental life of Holy Mother Church is a most powerful deterrent in helping one truly live in freedom from active sexual acting out. Those of us that have been able to stop the acting out with the help of God’s grace have an obligation to give away what God has given to us. We will not be able to keep it if we do not give it away. Websites are a great tool, but they do not take the place of facing other fellows in the same room dealing with the same addiction.

    I tried it just the God & me method. In a short time I became short with people, places & things. Impatience, grandiosity, pride, gluttony, stubbornness & the remaining seven deadly’s all ganged up on me at once, thus I fell in 2010 after 3.5 years of no acting out.

    Today I have to be perpetually honest about all of my motives, bringing negative temptation thinking into the light so others can help me steer clear of giving in to selfish sinful behaviors. Seeking good catholic counsel is paramount in staying spiritually & emotionally fit. Today I have a spiritual mentor/accountability partner that I call upon every time a lust temptation, explicit dream, anger, frustration etc. tries to lure me in to negativity.

    I cannot think of a more effective way of accountability, of course second only to the sacrament of reconciliation, that can help one break free from lust.

    All the best to you & yours,
    Chris L.

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