Shattering The Myths of Pornography!

shattered glass

Ignatius Press recently contacted me about writing a book on pornography.

The angle we decided to take was one that exposes common myths about the pornography. In order to make this book the best it can be I decided to seek the help of a friend of mine who was once a “porn star.” Together we will write this book, and I have high hopes for it!

Just as Truman (from The Truman Show) was only motivated to break free from his fantasy world when he finally discovered it to be such, so too, I think, people will be motivated to break free from ”Ā the illusion of a fantasy world” (CCC 2354) porn has immersed them in if they are given the facts behind the fantasy of porn.

And boy are the facts startling!

My coauthor has asked me to seek your help in compiling a list of as many myths pertaining to the porn star and the porn industry as you’re able.

So, please help us! What are things that people commonly believe about porn stars or the porn industry? Please do your best to read others comments so we don’t get a lot of repeat answers.

If you think of a myth that we haven’t, and that we decide is worth using, I’ll send you a free copy of my talk, The Ugly Truth

Thank you for your help, and please keep this book in your prayers!

 

 

32 thoughts on “Shattering The Myths of Pornography!

  1. 1. That porn stars always use condoms and are regularly tested for STI’s.
    2. That porn stars always know what kind of movie or scenes or sexual acts they are going perform and have previously agreed to them: truth that I’ve heard is that sometimes they dont know, especially if it is a rape or violent scene or a scene involving multiple people.
    3. Porn doesn’t advance to violent porn or violent crimes
    4. Porn isnt adultery and is ok to watch if both spouses agree.

  2. 1. Porn stars freely choose their porn carreers, and freely remain in their carreers.
    2. Porn stars earn a lot of money and therefore, can easily “get out” of the porn world and pursue a different lifestyle.
    3. Porn stars work in a sanitary, health-conscious environment in which they are protected from physical and emotional mistreatment and from physical and psychological illness.
    4. Porn scenes are “not real”; the sexual activity is make-believe. Therefore, no real harm done.
    5. The porn industry serves a good purpose: it allows for men to channel their sexual aggressiveness in unharmful ways for society and allows for both men and women to “de-stres” in unharmful ways. Additionally, it helps to promote the view that sex is “natural” and “good” and therefore, helps to fight the “scourge of sexual repression and Victorian prissy-ness” associated with sexual activity.

  3. People think that Porn will not destroy their family, their relationships, and their jobs. They think porn does not hurt others, that it has nothing to do with abortion or sex trafficking or child porn. They think porn can’t lead to bigger crimes. They think porn can’t ruin your brain. In the end though if we do not make the decision to fight porn people will die spiritually,emotionally, and physically, and they will never know the freedom that God intended them to have as his daughter or son.

  4. I have heard more than a few people say that they believe that if men stop watching pornography and masturbating, that a lot more of them would go out and commit crimes like rape or murder or even commit suicide because they “need that release, and it keeps them under control”, me, being a Catholic male obviously explained that this is not the case, myself being an example, but they wouldn’t listen. It was an excuse.

    I have also had a friend claim that “It’s different for everyone” and that “While pornography may negatively affect the mind of certain people and cause them to have a low or inappropriate view of women, it doesn’t negatively affect everyone”

    These are topics on which I would love to have some extra resources on, because they won’t simply take my word for it. Thanks Matt! You have already helped me a lot!

  5. It’s completely harmless. The actors, viewers, and society at large are not affected by it at all. Especially true for women and children as it provides a healthy outlet for men’s desires.

  6. It’s not the same as prostitution.
    It’s art.

    I think you focus on the females in the “industry” But, the men are objectified as well. Men watch the movies and wish they could be those men in the movies thinking they could easily do that.

  7. You are “less of a man” if you don’t watch porn. I know many guys (including myself) who were made fun of for not watching porn. We were told we were “losers” and “whimps” because we didn’t watch porn. This was a big part of what led us to watching porn for the first time.

  8. That anybody who wishes to stop pornography from harming others is ALWAYS motivated by their desire to repress their own sexuality.

  9. That the men and women are willing to do it, so there’s no problem watching it. Many women in particular are forced into this, sometimes through violence, so the viewer may be watching rape without even realizing it, thinking it consensual. I have also heard some say that many actors haven’t been abused, which I doubt is the case. Lastly, women in the industry pretend to love their jobs, and that’s impossible.

  10. The myth of as long as I watch in the privacy of my home that it isn’t hurting anyone. When in fact, it makes the person watching the porn think those sex acts that are being performed are ‘normal’ and it’s ‘ok’ to expect a woman to perform those same acts.

  11. 1. All actors/actresses in porn are of legal age.
    2. The porn industry actually cares whether actors/actresses are of legal age.

  12. Myths that spouses suffer from when their beloved is addicted to pornography (the pronouns I’m using refer to a man having a porn addiction because I’m a wife of a recovering porn addict but I do understand that this is a struggle for women, too. If you’re a husband with a wife that is addicted to porn these can apply to you, too, perhaps.):

    1. “He looks at porn because my body isn’t good enough.” Along the same lines, “if I was a better wife, he wouldn’t have this addiction.”

    2. “Viewing pornography is a habit/sin that he can stop overnight.”

    Maybe some people can! And thanks be to God for that grace. But it’s a long, hard battle and there isn’t a quick fix.

    3. “He loves his sin, these virtual women, more than he loves me.”

    While in some cases a person may be so deeply addicted that they really, truly have come to “love” their sin…I think that many men really do hate this sin and want it out of their lives because they DO love their wives. That is not to justify or minimize the seriousness of their addiction….but may help us to be more sympathetic. Many addicted to porn want it out of their life.

    4. “It’s best to just ignore it, and pretend it’s not there. At least then I won’t experience the pain of knowing for certain that I am being betrayed.”

    Isolation and separation are never, ever what God calls us to. Certainly some spouses will be more involved in the recovery process than others – we all have a certain level of “pain tolerance” that we can handle. But as spouses, we are called to reach into that messiness of the sin of our spouse and beckon them to holiness. My husband expects 100% sexual integrity from me, and I from him. I do not lower my standards. When he falls, it hurts. It’s the worst. But once we get passed the tears and the anger, we can dive deeper into the healing process. When I’m struggling in anger and hatred against my husband for this sin I imagine this: I imagine him like the wounded Christ – beaten, bruised, bleeding and suffering…totally vulnerable. And while I imagine him in this state, I imagine myself holding him and tending to his wounds. Bringing comfort and consolation to his pain. Do I always do this perfectly in real life? No. I get angry, hurt; I feel utterly betrayed. But there’s a turning point where I have an opportunity to forgive and minister to the dark parts of my husband’s soul.

    That’s what I’m called, too. and he for me.

      1. One more thought…I realize that you may be looking for myths that apply to more of the industry side of pornography, so as to debunk “the illusion of the fantasy-world that surrounds it.” However, I still would like to see a book on help for spouses because it can be an immensely lonely and isolating battle for us. It’s our spouse’s sin…and therefore we often feel that we can’t talk about it with others in order to not bring shame upon them. The result: alot of spouses carrying this cross and feeling like they’re the only ones. I know I’ve come across some online support groups, and that’s all good and fine. But I know I would love a book to help feel not so alone and to begin a bigger discussion on how we can forgive, love, support and stay in this battle with our beloveds!

  13. There is a huge stigma… men are applauded for lusting after sex/viewing sex because their manhood is tied to it. They are often high five’d for conquests and stereoptyped into believing their worth is tied up in how many women they can conquer.

    On the other hand, the same behavior in women is stigmatized as being slutty and dirty. We are devalued, portrayed as a ‘used up pieces of gum,’ and labeled forever.

    The truth is, there is huge stigma surrounding both genders when it comes to pornography/sexual addiction.

    The solution is to throw stigma out the window and embrace the fact that we are all beautiful sons and daughters of a God that wants to heal us and see us come home.

    Another myth is that ‘pornography is not addictive.’ That’s crap. Behaviorally, pornography has been determined to be non-addictive and the most recent version of the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual – guidelines used by therapists to diagnose) has removed sexual dysfunctions as an addiction.

    But if we look at science (www.fightthenewdrug.org) we can learn that it IS addictive. Brain scans show that the same areas light up when viewing pornography, that light up when shooting up heroin.

    Thank you for what you are doing. This work is very important.

    And, thank you for letting me share.

    Sidreis
    A daughter of God in recovery from a pornography addiction
    http://www.bythelightofgrace.com

  14. Myth: The women in pornography are always happy to perform sexual acts and actually love what they are doing, because that’s how they appear on-screen.

  15. Porn stars have a liberated sense of sexuality
    Everyone likes sex, so what’s wrong with getting paid to do it?

  16. Women in porn (any place a woman is used/shown in a sexualitied way in photos, commercials, shows, or straight up “porn”) shows women in a place of power. Women have the power over men b/c they do use themselves in this way. Reality: these are women with a great deal of brokenness and men always have the power over how they manage their own sexuality.

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