Porn: Are you Finally Ready to be Free?

Are you finally ready to face your porn problem head on? Are you ready to do what is necessary to change, grow, and heal?

It is crucial to understand that freedom from impurity is not a destination that we reach -you wont wake up several months from now, throw your arms up in victory and announce “I’m free!” Rather, freedom from impurity is a daily choice we make, by God’s grace, which will enable us to become more fully alive (aka more Holy).

That said, the following steps are crucial and, in my humble opinion, indispensable to anyone who is serious about overcoming their porn problem.

FIND A GOOD CONFESSOR – DON’T PRIEST HOP 

If you are a Catholic, find a good confessor and stick to him. Don’t priest hop because you’re ashamed of confessing the sin again so soon. The priest is not their to judge you but to love you. Confessing to the same priest will be an opportunity to humble yourself while honestly facing the severity of your problem.

BECOME ACCOUNTABLE 

Download Covenant Eyes, the best accountability software on the web. After subscribing, type in the email of an (1 or more) accountability partner(s) you trust. If you go to a sketchy site, your accountability partner(s) gets a report alerting him to the site you visited. As a result, you get to have a slightly awkward but very helpful conversation with someone who cares for you. It’s about 8 bucks a month.

type “pureinheart” into the promo code, you’ll get a month free.

COUNSELLING 

3rd Know that you might need professional counselling and that there is nothing shameful about wanting to be a full man/woman of God. See www.integrityrestored.com to contact my friend Dr. Peter Kleponis. He is a Catholic psychotherapist who specializes in dealing with overcoming porn addiction – he can do appointments by Skype.

EDUCATE YOURSELF

Educate yourself on the dangers of pornography. I highly recommend reading this article  written by Neurosurgeon Dr. Donald L. Hilton on how porn addiction damages your brain (literally). We also have some great resources here Catholic Answers such as Jason Evert’s Pure in Heart, a 5 CD retreat for men struggling with porn. You can see my products over on the right there which I believe will be of great help.

If you are a woman struggling with porn, be sure to visit www.beggarsdaughter.com

PATIENCE

Have patience with yourself. God’s mercy is unlimited. St. Francis de Sales wrote  that you should “Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them – every day begin the task anew.”

There is much more that could be said, but I hope I’ve given you some practical leads which will be of great help to you as you strive to live porn free.

8 thoughts on “Porn: Are you Finally Ready to be Free?

  1. One strategy that I am employing as I try to break the bonds is simply strentghening the marriage. And to that end, one thing to be mindful of for married men that struggle is to make sure the financial situation is as healthy as possible. This has not been the situation for my wife and I. And I’ve discovered over the years, very little discretionary income is directly proportional to the amount of ‘marital debt’ that gets paid to you. 🙂 And if the marital debt is not getting paid, on time and on a regular schedule, porn inevitably rears it’s ugly head. There is another issue regarding the marital debt, which is that, very generally speaking, the ‘modern woman’ of today, having lived through the women’s lib era, many times have been unconsciously affected by the propaganda that is everywhere in American culture. Not going to go into all of it here, but many women to not subjegate themselves, properly, to their husbands. Of course I don’t mean that in a masogynistic way, husbands have serious obligation to care for and love their wives to the utmost of their abilities. But I would like to see more discussion in the fray about wives that are very slow to pay the marital debt, many times for less than acceptable reasons. This is a problem. I’ve experienced and other friends that I’ve discussed this with have seen it too.

  2. Here’s some questions–

    Does the husband ask that the “marital debt” be paid in anything that is degrading to the wife?

    Does the wife feel resentful that her husband defauts to porn if he gets the least bit frustrated, so that this makes her feel like her marriage isn’t that strong to begin with, anyway?

    I think too many men already like the idea of all emotional attachment being taken out of the sex that they experience to begin with, and that a man who was truly emotionally devoted to his wife wouldn’t see porn as a satisfying option.

  3. I would also recommend getting to know what the lives of those involved in the porn industry are like. Watch the Shelley Lubben produced Youtube video of dead porn stars. I was a porn actor from 1990-1999, I knew many of the people pictured in that incredible film. For the most part, they were great people, who, like myself, got sucked into the mouth of evil. Some of us survived the journey, some of us didn’t. When you watch porn you are praising evil by contributing to the death of another human being.

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